Sometimes, the reason ADHD individuals blurt things out is because they are afraid of forgetting an important thought. Since memory is one issue of ADHD, this is a valid concern, but it is still a poor excuse for constantly interrupting others. To remedy this, ADHD individuals should have a notebook or small computing device handy at all times to record thoughts. This makes it so their “interruptions” are diverted into an acceptable place: instead of interrupting someone else’s sentence, they can simply write down what they have thought, kind of like they’re in a lecture.
There’s another trick to keep in mind if you are apt to finish other people’s sentences, thinking you know where their train of thought is headed. Wait until they have clearly finished a sentence, and then say some kind of affirmative statement like “okay,” “mm-hmm,” “right,” “I see,” or anything that serves as a comfortable pause. Then, take a breath. So, in a conversation, as soon as the other person is done speaking a sentence, you would say something like, “Okay [breath],” and then give your response. In this way, you are contributing a comfortable flow to the conversation.
Other communication problems might include changing the subject or not talking. Both of these occur when the ADHD individual’s mind is wandering, often about thoughts, feelings, and worries that are completely unrelated to their current conversation topic. In these situations, it often helps to catch yourself when your mind is off on a different subject, and to tell yourself, “Be here now.” Over time, you may be better able to pay attention even when your natural inclination is to get distracted.
These are some of the most common communication problems that individuals with ADHD face every day. Sometimes, medications like Adderall or Ritalin can help with issues like hyperactivity, inattention, or impulsivity, but even so, the aforementioned strategies will take you the rest of the way. Hopefully, by adopting them, you will be ready to have pleasant, comfortable conversations.

If you know someone who has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), you’ve probably experienced a particular conversation oddity: they sometimes start saying words in the middle of a thought, instead of at the beginning. This leads to disjointed and unexpected points in a conversation. What’s important to realize is that they are not crazy or delusional — their mind is actually racing, and sometimes their spoken words don’t keep up with the thoughts in their head.

So, in practice, they are thinking of a thought, and the sentence is started in their head, but only partway through do audible words actually reflect what they’re thinking. That can make it appear as though they’re talking in the middle of a sentence. As disconcerting as this is, it’s merely a common result of an ADHD symptom called “impulsivity.”

Impulsivity is a condition in which ADHD individuals cannot hold a thought in their head without speaking it aloud. For example, if an ADHD mother was in a conversation with another mother, and she suddenly realized that she needed to do laundry that day, she might blurt out, “Do the laundry!” In this instance, she might have already thought, “I need to” before finishing the sentence out loud. This is merely an example, but it demonstrates how those with ADHD can have difficulty holding their thoughts to themselves. The question is, what are possible ways to keep this problem in check?

First of all, anyone with ADHD must realize that this is not an easy problem to solve. Because of the condition itself, your natural inclination may well be to engage in impulsivity and let your mind wander. Aside from medications, it is next to impossible to change how your mind is thinking, but there are some strategies that can help the ADHD individual carry on a conversation without outbursts or peculiarities. However, instead of looking at these as some sort of cure, think of them more as a way of “tricking” yourself into being a better conversationalist. Or, if you prefer, look at them as a “game” that you can play — and win — if you follow the rules.

One strategy to try is to count to five or 10 immediately following the end of every sentence another person speaks. This forces you to wait for the other person to finish before saying what you want to say, and it looks like you are not interrupting or blurting things out. This doesn’t mean that your mind is not full of thoughts, but you are better able to control when and how you express them. You can give the appearance of slowing down when you have a conversation.

If the ADHD individual is a child, there is another “game” to play that can teach conversation skills. Back in elementary school, you might remember the teacher saying, “Raise your hand” or “Give me five,” or perhaps using a specific object that represented a student’s turn to speak. For your child, designate an object as a “talk rock” or “talk toy” — this means that only the person who is holding the object is allowed to talk. Then, pass the object back and forth to demonstrate the proper give-and-take nature of a healthy conversation.

One objection that many parents have is that they don’t want to see their kids taking medication. Some don’t believe ADHD is even a real condition, and that it’s something that you can just will yourself not to have. Ask yourself if you can will yourself not to have bad eyesight, or to will yourself out of having cancer. ADHD is a neurological condition, so even though it could seem like something that a child is faking, if the child genuinely has ADHD, it’s not fair to assume that he or she can fix it through willpower. If your child has ADHD, you can’t outsmart it or will it away. You can’t just try really hard to make it a non-issue.

This isn’t to say that you can’t make the condition easier to live with by adopting certain strategies. But, to say that an individual with ADHD should be able to focus and concentrate just as well as someone without ADHD is to be insensitive and ignorant about the condition. The next step for many people who have been diagnosed with ADHD is to get started with some kind of treatment. Often, this treatment takes the form of a stimulant medication like Adderall or Ritalin.

This is a common and reasonable solution, but even when your child is on meds, it doesn’t magically fix everything. Like nicotine patches in smoking that help you wean off cigarettes, meds for ADHD can provide a solid foundation for shedding bad habits and forming more healthy, productive ones. But, this doesn’t mean that there’s no effort involved. There are some problems that the child must address whether taking medications or not, and the medications should serve the role of a helper, not a panacea.

Really, though, you won’t know what the solutions should be until you first know what problems the child is really trying to deal with. Instead of trying to treat the condition as a contest of willpower, seek the advice of professionals with expertise in ADHD treatment. Get their take on it, see what they think is going on, and find out what solutions they recommend. If you take the approach that says the child is just being lazy, irresponsible, or hyper, without realizing that there is a neurological basis for that behavior, you probably won’t be able to properly address their behavioral problems.

There is no denying that it can be scary to find out what problems the child has. Perhaps you might feel guilt, or shame, or sadness. These are valid emotions, but just don’t let them prevent you from taking the necessary action to help your child. A child who truly has ADHD can’t outlive or cure it; they can only take reasonable steps to manage it and live the best possible life.

In the end, it truly is the parents’ responsibility to take care of their children the best they can. If you’re not sure whether your child has ADHD, then you can’t provide them with the best possible care. Go to a professional, determine the right method of treatment, and proceed with knowledge. Ultimately, your child will be better off — and so will you.

“It’s not ADHD!” When you see your child struggling and exhibiting symptoms like hyperactivity, short attention span, poor memory, and difficulty conversing, you might be inclined to toss out ADHD as a possibility.

Well, maybe it’s not ADHD, but maybe it is. If you aren’t sure whether your child has Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), but you see some signs in the child’s behavior that suggest ADHD, it can be difficult to decide when it’s necessary to actually get a diagnosis. There are a lot of misconceptions swirling around, but in the end, the only responsible course of action is to find out the truth.

ADHD is considered a “spectrum disorder,” which means that it possesses many different subgroups with similar, but not identical, symptoms. As such, some people will experience mild ADHD symptoms, while others will experience severe, debilitating ADHD symptoms. Until you know where on the spectrum your child lies, it is difficult to know how best to address their problems. Even the term “Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder” refers to both inattentiveness and hyperactivity, which are not the same symptoms.

Some symptoms don’t even show up until later, such as sleep disturbance problems. The extent to which a child’s ADHD is causing problems is difficult to determine without a professional. While they aren’t infallible, professionals who are experts in ADHD should be able to give you a pretty precise definition of your child’s condition. They can provide a comprehensive evaluation and then suggest different treatment and coping options.

Different professionals to consider include an ADHD specialist, a therapist, a coach, or a psychiatrist. Any of these professionals will be able to provide you with a more complete grasp of the symptoms and issues that come with ADHD. The truth is that ADHD pervades every aspect of your child’s life, making everything from personal relationships to school to work more challenging than they should be.

Think of the problem from this perspective: a non-ADHD individual is like an automobile navigation system with a destination in mind. Even with several possible routes to consider, executive function takes over and helps make a quick decision about the best route to take. For an ADHD mind, this problem can be much more challenging to resolve, particularly for the ones who have a high IQ. They very well might have an excessive number of ideas in their head, but difficulty taking these ideas and translating them into a plan of action. In other words, if a navigation system had ADHD, instead of rapidly analyzing, planning, prioritizing, and then choosing one of the routes, it would merely shut down because of a sense of perceived boredom with the task at hand.

You might also think of the problem as a physical to-do list. The more intelligent an ADHD individual is, the longer that to-do list is, because their mind is sharper and better able to think of items to put down — but that still doesn’t enable someone with impaired executive function to organize and prioritize the items on that list. The standard for what a highly intelligent ADHD individual finds interesting actually increases, while their ability to focus on things that lack their interest is comparable to those ADHD individuals possessing a lower IQ.

It is for this reason that many ADHD individuals find it necessary to seek treatment. Instead of feeling constantly overwhelmed by a barrage of thoughts and ideas that they cannot arrange into a logical and approachable sequence, ADHD individuals can finally get a straightforward response and start focusing their attention on just one idea at a time. Without this assistance, a highly intelligent ADHD individual could actually feel lower self-esteem and confidence than an ADHD individual of average intelligence, because they have even more ideas that they don’t know what to with.

Ultimately, the revelation is that ADHD and intelligence are not mutually exclusive. Some ADHD individuals are geniuses, some are of average intelligence, and others are mentally disabled — just like non-ADHD individuals. As long as they are able to take control of their many ideas and organize them in such a way that they can put them into practice, ADHD individuals can overcome the impairment of their executive function and be successful in their daily lives.

When I first contacted ADHD Specialists, I was so confused about what to do with my life. I was twenty five years old, stuck in a dead end job and just not sure which way to turn next. My neighbor suggested that I talk to Sarah Ferman at ADHD Specialists. My coaching sessions with Sarah Ferman were a huge turning point in my life. Not only did she coach me on how to transition from my dead end job into a career, she helped me learn how to set real goals and work toward achieving them.

Ed D. LA area

Amy P. LA area

The doctors and staff at ADHD Specialists in Encino truly gave us our family back. Previous doctors took the easy way out and said our two sons were just depressed and needed to be made to pay attention and stop daydreaming. One of those doctors even said that our younger son might have a learning disability. Dr. Wilford helped us realize that in fact both our sons had ADHD and that following what those other doctors told us was actually the exact opposite of what our sons needed to cope with their symptoms. There is a peace in our home now that we never knew existed.

Martha R., LA Area

We were at a loss as to how to fix all the problems that seemed to be hitting our family last year. Our initial anxiety about this process seems so silly now because the team at ADHD Specialists truly has become like a part of our extended family. It’s obvious that everyone who is involved with the clinic cares about making sure that we have the best possible experience. As it turns out, I was diagnosed with adult ADHD and much of my son’s behaviors were due to his ADHD. Now that we all understand how this affects everyone, our daily life is much less chaotic. Thanks ADHD Specialists!

Sue A., Encino, CA

My business was failing. I know food and cooking but I just didn’t know much about running a restaurant and everything that had to be done every day just seemed to overwhelm me. My staff kept telling me that I was forgetting things and messing up orders even though they repeated them to me more than once. Sarah helped me discover that I had adult ADHD and my symptoms were really threatening my success. I’m now on medication and working with Sarah Ferman to learn how to set goals and learn new habits to help me get where I want to be.

Tom S., Torrance, CA