ADHD Couples

Noise and Intimacy for ADHD Couples 125 Oct

Robert Wilford, Ph.D. and Sarah Ferman, Psy.D., L.M.F.T.

If you have ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder), you know that there are a number of symptoms that can make it difficult to lead a “normal” life, even with treatment and effort. One of the problems you might have experienced is inattentiveness; that is, you get distracted easily and find it difficult to focus. While many people find it difficult to concentrate when there are a number of nearby distractions, those with ADHD find it even more challenging to filter incoming stimuli.

In books on positive psychology, it has been said that people cannot adapt to noisy environments. They will never get used to living in a place with a lot of extraneous noise. That means your quality of life will be noticeably lower if you’re constantly subjected to distracting noises. This noise factor is why the property values of homes adjacent to busy thoroughfares are lower than those of homes in quiet cul-de-sacs. Excessive noise is detrimental to a happy life.

When it comes to ADHD individuals, noise is particularly devastating. ADHD patients want to connect with their partners, and they want to be intimate, but noise can completely derail their mood. If you’re ready to make love to your partner, but the only thing your partner can think about is the fact that the construction crew outside is producing a loud pounding sound, then the prospect of sex isn’t very good. This might be okay every once in a while, but if sensitivity to noise consistently gets in the way of sex, it can do terrible things to a once-healthy relationship.

Unfortunately, it’s nearly impossible to find a place with total silence. There’s going to be the sound of cars passing by, the television going in the next room, neighbors chatting, the refrigerator humming, water pipes clanging, kitchen appliances going off, and family members shuffling around the house. There are also beeps and chirps from all sorts of technological gadgets. So, what can you do if you or your partner want to make love, but one of you is always distracted by noises?


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Most medical doctors who treat ADD/ADHD do so as part of a larger practice. ADHD Specialists focuses primarily on only treating ADD and related conditions. This intense focus allows us to continually sharpen our clinical skills, attend specialized training, utilize the latest therapies, and build our process to meet the specific needs of our clients.

Often medical, testing and counseling services are all separately owned and located practices. It just does not make sense to have to travel from one location to another to treat the same condition. Besides the issue of time and travel, how cohesive and effective is care being delivered in multiple locations by multiple, unrelated providers who don’t have time to talk to each other?

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